


did you ever really think you'd love a guy like me?

by kokichys (pgsaihara)



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, its my first time writing kiibouma + these characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 08:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18465496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pgsaihara/pseuds/kokichys
Summary: The second Kokichi met Kiibo, he knew that he would be an issue.The way that he reacted to his teasing, the flustered looks he shot Kokichi after a raunchy joke he made, his stupid fluffy hair, his electric blue eyes… Yes, Kokichi learned right away that Kiibo would be a major issue in his life.





	did you ever really think you'd love a guy like me?

**Author's Note:**

> yaaaa this is my first time writing kiibouma and im sorry if this is edgy LOL

The second Kokichi met Kiibo, he knew that he would be an issue.

The way that he reacted to his teasing, the flustered looks he shot Kokichi after a raunchy joke he made, his stupid fluffy hair, his electric blue eyes… Yes, Kokichi learned right away that Kiibo would be a major issue in his life.

Even worse, the stupid microwave wanted to be friends with him. Even _after_ he insulted him so many times - what nerve he must have! Giving him hope that he was some sort of redeemable human being was a unique kind of clueless cruelty that Kokichi had yet to feel. 

Giving him hope…

There was no time to think about it anymore.

Push him away, push him far far away until he doesn't feel anything anymore. 

So, he decided to do what he did best; cause some sort of diversion. No matter how badly he wanted to be alone with Kiibo, he didn't allow himself that kindness. He didn't allow himself to fantasize, to have tender thoughts about the other in any way. He refused to let himself think for a second that he had any semblance of a chance. After all, how can you be let down if you never expect anything in the beginning?

So, he "got a crush" on Shuichi.

He grew increasingly clingy to Shuichi; it wasn't as hard as it would've been if he latched onto a complete stranger, but nonetheless, it was a little hard to stomach how tedious his false affections felt. It was more than a little frustrating to feel the jab in his gut every time he realized he'd rather be giving these affections in earnest, to Kiibo still.

Sitting alone on the fountain, he thought and he thought and he thought some more, until-

"Kokichi!" 

Kokichi's head snapped up, his indigo eyes locking with Kiibo's intense ones. _Shit._

"Ahh, Kiiboy… Fancy seeing you out here. What are you doing out here at this time? Couldn't sleep?" He asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. Before Kiibo had a chance to answer, he blurted out, "Hah- Just kidding! Hunks of metal don't sleep, after all!~" 

Kiibo frowned, his cheeks lighting up with an irritated blush. _Cute…_ Kokichi mentally kicked himself for the thought.

"I-I just got here and you're already being rude to me!"

"Nishishi~! Sorry Kiiboy, you're just so fun to mess with!" 

"U-Ugh!"

Kiibo gave him an annoyed look, to which Kokichi returned with a disarming smile. He tried to keep his irritating, childish front, but it hurt still. It hurt a lot. 

"A-Anyway… I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Kokichi's stomach did a few flips, feeling as if his guts had suddenly filled with bees. _Shut up. He's not talking about that sort of thing._

"Um, yeah?"

"...I feel like you've been avoiding me lately, Kokichi. I miss- I miss talking to you lately, I suppose…" Kiibo begrudgingly shook his head, breaking the eye contact and looking at the ground with that bashful expression Kokichi adored so much. 

Kokichi mulled over what he had just said, blinking slowly at Kiibo. "...Nishishi, I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been busy with… important leader stuff!" He scoffed. "You think that my work stops just because I'm in this stupid place with all of you? My organization needs someone like me, you know! For an "artificial intelligence", you aren't too intelligent!" He laughed at his own joke, but Kiibo looked even more crestfallen.

Fucked up again. This is why he started distancing himself.

"...Kokichi, I really wish you could just be straightforward with me."

"...Kay. Sorry. It's nothing you've done."

Before Kiibo could ask for an elaboration, Kokichi tucked his hands in his pockets and looked up at the dark sky filled with projected stars. _Fake. Be fake like this place. Like this sky._

"It's getting pretty late, I better go to bed. Takes a lot of good sleep to avoid getting killed, you know?" 

And he was off.

The next few days, Kokichi was less obvious about avoiding Kiibo, extending it only to preventing himself any alone time with the robot. They had been such close friends before that it was hard to do even that, but he couldn't let his feelings grow. The only time that he allowed Kiibo in his dorm alone was the time he regretted the most.

"Kokichi, I need your advice on something, please open up!"

"I'm busyyyy!"

"Please! This is very serious! I need your help!"

"Get someone else to help!" 

"I-I don't want anyone else's help! I want yours!"

Kokichi finally conceded with a loud, over dramatic sigh, flinging the door open and looking up at Kiibo's pleading eyes. 

"...Fine. Get your metal ass in here before I change my mind."

Kiibo sat down on Kokichi's bed, looking at him anxiously before dropping his gaze once again. 

"Um, you probably know more about human relationships than I do… So, I was wondering some things…"

"Well, yeah. Obviously. I am a human, after all… And you're just… Well, you're a toaster oven."

"H-Hey! I didn't come here to be made fun of by you!" Kiibo protested, that cute pout that he always made when Kokichi made some snide comment spread across his features once more to let Kokichi know exactly what he couldn't have. 

"Yeah, okay. What do you wanna know anyway?"

"Umm… I was just wondering… I-If you have feelings for someone, what would that feel like? Please be honest with me, I…" He trailed off, his face practically glowing with embarrassment at this point. Kokichi couldn't even find it in him to admire him at this point. Of course it would happen, but the whole point of him isolating himself from Kiibo was so this moment wouldn't hurt so god damn badly. 

"Ah. That's easy. You feel like they're the most important person that you know…. Like they mean the whoooole world to you, and you feel all fluttery and jumpy around them. You wanna be with them more than anything and they make everything better for you even if you wanna die. It's great. Sometimes. Unless-" He cut himself off, shaking his head before he could say something passive aggressive. "It kinda sucks if they don't feel the same, though, because all the things you wanted with them go to someone else and shit. You know."

Kiibo blinked a little, surprised at Kokichi's transparency. "Ah- th-thanks, Kokichi. I think… I understand now." His voice was quieter, and more determined. Kokichi's heart sank when he thought about it, when he thought about how he was the reason why the love of his life just got that little push to go find someone else who was _better_ than him.

Maybe someone who meant everything they said, someone who was less teasing, someone with less issues, not-

He didn't allow himself to think any longer on the subject, at least not with Kiibo around. 

"...You gotta get out now, Kiibo! I gave you what you wanted, your free trial of being around me is gone! I have shit to do, Cleverbot! See ya." He kept the usual light, jovial tone that he always had when he was playing around, even though he genuinely wanted Kiibo far away from him as soon as possible. God forbid Kiibo saw him vulnerable.

Kiibo nodded obediently. "Yeah, of course. Sorry for bothering you! Thank you for the advice…" He stumbled out of Kokichi's room, and by the time that Kokichi realized he didn't even react to his insults, he was long gone.

-

The next day, while Kokichi was pushing himself to be disgustingly touchy with Shuichi (maybe pretending it was Kiibo's arm that he was nuzzling his head against, maybe a little bit), Kiibo approached the two. 

Shuichi looked up at him, giving him a warm smile.

"Oh, hey Kiibo!" Shuichi's overly friendly greeting caught Kokichi by surprise. Since when did they talk?

"Ah- Hey Shuichi! I… Is there any chance I can talk to you now?"

"Uh sure!" Shuichi gave his bright reply, smiling warmly at the other. Kokichi felt a pit of unease (and guilt) building in his guts. 

"Oh? You guys having a private conversation? It's not nice to keep secrets from the one you love… Shuichi~..." He whined, his voice taking on a slight over-the-top sultry tone at the end of his sentence. Shuichi flushed a little at his theatrics, before sighing. 

"Sorry, Kokichi. You're gonna have to sit this one out, I think." He looked over at Kiibo for approval. The other nodded, avoiding eye contact with both of those. His cheeks were already filling with color.

Kokichi felt sick once again.

"Keh! Fine, I didn't need to hear your stupid conversation anyway! I'm gonna go do something more interesting."

He scampered off, far enough to be out of earshot but close enough to still watch what was going on from a distance. The way that Kiibo seemed to be talking, the way that Shuichi was responding, the overall warmth between the two…

It didn't seem all that hard to figure out what was going on between them. Especially not when Kokichi thought about the conversation that he had with Kiibo the night before.

Feeling disgusted with himself and sickened by what he had seen, he shamefully walked back to his dorm with his head hung low. 

What he didn't see was the way they looked back at him, the way that Kiibo stared at him when he was never looking. What he didn't hear was what they were speaking about. Shuichi stood staring after Kokichi, pointing in his direction and asking Kiibo if he wanted to go check on him.

Kiibo nodded and rushed off to Kokichi's dorm, fully believing that he could finally work up the courage to say what he had to say.

-

Once in his dorm, he curled up on his side, staring at the wall with a blankness mirroring the wall itself. How could he have been so stupid as to not catch on earlier? Since when were Kiibo and Shuichi so interested in each other? Kokichi had always prided himself on being able to read people well, but … Somehow he ended up unable to read that sort of air between Shuichi and Kiibo for so long. He felt like a failure in his own right.

He rolled onto his back, glaring at the ceiling with stinging teary eyes. He thought about the things that he had told Kiibo the night before. _You feel like they're the most important person that you know…. Like they mean the whoooole world to you, and you feel all fluttery and jumpy around them. You wanna be with them more than anything and they make everything better for you even if you wanna die. It's great._

How could he have been so oblivious… to the fact that Kiibo felt that way about Shuichi? He gripped his temples and growled loudly in frustration, trying his best to stop the hot streams of tears running down his face. _Fuck this. Fuck all of this._

_Bang bang bang!_

Kokichi snarled a little at the loud knocking on his door. "Who is it?" He snapped, hoping whoever was on the other side couldn't hear the heavy weight of tears in his voice.

"Kiibo!"

"Oh. Okay, go away."

"No, Kokichi! I need to talk with you!" He pleaded.

_Sorry, Kiibo. I love you, but I can't make the same mistake twice._. "Do you really? Can't you just go talk to Shuichi about it?" He heard the biting, sarcastic tone in his voice and flinched with guilt, but couldn't bring himself to mask it any longer.

Kiibo was silent for a while. "I don't want to talk to Shuichi, I want to talk to you…"

Kokichi could barely hear him, and decided he was just hearing him wrong. Maybe Kiibo had said he *did* want to talk to Shuichi and his mean brain was playing tricks on him, giving him a false hope that Kiibo thought he was special. It didn't make much sense that way, but Kokichi had learned to expect the worst, even if it didn't seem right.

Ah, well. He knew things never worked out that way, so he decided he was just hearing things.

"Bye, Kiibo."

"...Okay… Bye, Kokichi."

That night, Kokichi only found himself comforted by the coldness of the wall against his face and the lumpy softness of his single pillow.

-

The fourth trial came and went.

Shuichi cursed him, gave him a testament to his own thoughts. Someone he had called a best friend at one point had figured him out, read him like a book, and threw up everything he knew about him right back in his face. He knew that Kokichi would die alone, and he hated that he couldn't even protest that. After all, who would want to stay around a loser like him? A seventeen year old who couldn't even express his own emotions or communicate directly? What kind of pitiful loser was he, after all? He swore in front of everyone that his friend's death meant nothing to him - that his friend was a fucking liability above anything else. He went over the top with his theatrics again and he found himself chided by the glares of everyone around him almost instantly. Almost instantly, the godforsaken guilt that he dreaded every time he thought of his own nature had resurfaced and made a home as a lump in his throat.

Now, he was lying in his bed again, staring at the ceiling and thinking about it.

Shuichi and Kiibo. 

What an irony it was that Kokichi chose Shuichi to "fall in love with", and he ended up with Kiibo.

It was almost laughable, if Kokichi had it in him to laugh anymore at this point. 

It didn't matter, because he had his mind made up. He had a plan to make things better now. He knew how he would fix things, and he knew that he wouldn't make it out alive.

As if he was doing it by himself, he scrawled down a note and tucked it into the pocket of his jacket, sighing and shaking his head. He knew that he would risk compromising the entire idea if he left this in plain sight, but…

It wasn't like he could tell these things to Kiibo while he was alive. He was spineless in life and he would be spineless in death.

-

"I need you to kill me."

Kaito stared at him, his eyes wide with surprise. Woozy, shirtless, and covered in his own blood from cuts obtained from stumbling around drunk on poison, Kokichi had no time for dicking around.

"Kaito! Are you in or are you out?" He snapped, his eyes shaking as if he was having some sort of episode. 

Kaito gave a firm nod. 

"If you really think this will work… How are you so sure, anyway?" 

"Shut up. Don't doubt me."

"How do I even know what your intentions are? How do I know you aren't just trying to fuck all of us over? I have no reason to trust you. I should let you just die here."

Kokichi growled in frustration, slumping further against the wall.

"Your precious fucking _girlfriend_ will be the culprit if I die this way. You won't even believe me on this if I'm willing to fucking die for it?"

Kaito's lips pressed into a thin line.

"...Fine. I'm in."

Kokichi rubbed away the burning tears on his cheeks and nodded. "Let's get this over with."

-

The press hovered above him, and Kokichi wondered if he'd feel any pain.

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe Kaito would decide to lower it as slowly as he could, just to see how bad it would hurt him. Just to see how fast he would die if he wasn't as merciful as Kokichi hoped he would be. Not that he believed he deserved a quick, painless death - he knew he was abysmal, and he knew he probably deserved to be treated like scum. Yet, he was still so deathly (ha) afraid of pain.

Kokichi closed his eyes. He left the note stuffed in the pillowcase in his dorm. With any luck, Kiibo would find it. Yet, the chances were immensely slim. He hoped, at very least, Shuichi had enough decency (or respect for Kokichi) to hand the letter off to Kiibo without reading over it, seeing as it was addressed as private for him.

_Shuichi and Kiibo… I still can't-_

_Hurry up and lower the press._

There was a sharp, unbearable pressure, a few wet snaps, and Kokichi felt his soul get squeezed from his body.

**Author's Note:**

> mmm i hope you enjoyed thanks for reading <:))


End file.
